Richard Crooks's Website
Silly Small Ads
Why sell a chair, when you could sell a solid gold throne that has undergone such extensive renovations that it is now basically made of wood? And why not have a reason for learning French, like the need to establish contact with a colony of French speakers as part as your attempts to woo one of them?
When I write small ads, I like to make them exciting, and fun to read, so that people remember them. Too many small ads are boring, so why not make fun ones?
Read my fun small ads here.
2019-02-14 - 11:45:00
There are still a number of CD albums for sale! And they really are for sale! Such is the sellity associated with them!
This range of music is such a range of music that it provides a unique exploration of Richard's mind, not content with merely taking over the space:time continuum and covering everything in toffee sauce, Richard also listens to music. Although sadly for reasons he does not need to go into at this juncture, he needs to convert other people to be like himself, therefore this music collection of CDs needs to be sold in order to conduct the conversion to turn the space:time continuum into both a place and a period which is covered in megalomaniacal toffee sauce throwers!
Richard denies allegations that his keenness on chaos is because he has been taken over by the Shadows, to be used in opposition to their mortal enemies, the Vorlons.
All discs are £1. Please email me.
2019-02-11 - 11:34:00
I have these Thule Kayak Supports for sale. I'll also throw in the foam padding. They're really good for carrying kayaks, I think, I've never actually used them to carry a kayak because no kayak has ever disgraced the roof of my car, which is fully consistent with my militant canoe paddling nature. They do however excellently carry closed cockpit boats, whether they be canoes or kayaks, and as they are designed for kayaks I believe they're an appropriate transportation device for kayaks as well as for canoes.
They have things that attach them to aerobars, which is what you want, if you want to attach them to your roof rack, you can certainly do so, which is exactly what you want.
I don't recommend using these for a racing kayak or canoe, but other forms of kayak and canoe (such as white water racers and sea kayaks) are entirely suitable for this.
If you would like them, please email me and I will be pleased to sell them to you. Unless you're a kayak paddler, in which case I'll grudgingly sell them to you, but be pleasant about it.
2019-02-07 - 10:49:00
When I was in Armenia, Ruzan made me a big bowl of khash (not to be confused with jhash, which means meal) to which she crushed a large quantity of garlic in and insisted I followed all of the standard operating procedures for consuming the khash, which meant lots of lavash, and other deliciousnesses, and it was all delicious. Yes utel ei khash Hayastanum is what they say in Armenia to describe khash.
Khash is made from cows hooves which are boiled overnight until they become gelatinous and utterly delicious. I seriously recommend this hearty soup, du uzum es utel khash vorovhetev khash hamegh eh. To make it you'll need cows feet, which I have located someone in Salisbury who claims will be able to supply you with them, and you'll also need a big pot. Which is what I have here.
I have this completely unused IKEA stock pot for sale and will sell it to you for £5. It's completely unused and still in its original packaging, which means you can follow the advice of Moogie from Star Trek Deep Space Nine and ensure your asset appreciates in value by keeping the original packaging.
If you would like to buy it, please email me and I will be very pleased to sell it to you.
2019-02-04 - 09:22:00
There are still CDs for sale! These CDs contain music, and are also in a physical format, which is excellent if you have an incredibly classy looking shelf, where your CDs can be placed, one after the other, in the most classy format that one could possibly imagine. Such is the niceness of the physical music format, that your most classy music collection can become a thing to behold, and a conversation piece, as you hold court with your guests as you drink a fine beverage such as bourbon, or a quintessentially English beverage such as a fine tea, which of course must be loose leaf.
Please see updated list and the CDs are still £1 each. If you would like any of them, please email me and I would be most pleased to sell them to you.
2019-01-28 - 09:01:00
In about 1995, if you had a brand new car, that looked like a Jaguar, which had leather seats, you might also be pleased to discover that it had a CD player.
If you are in such a situation with your automobile, you might want some media to use in your automobile, and so would desire some CDs.
I have these CD albums to sell. They're £1 each and you can see which ones I have on the attached list.
If you would like any of them, please email me.
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