Richard Crooks's Website
Silly Small Ads
Why sell a chair, when you could sell a solid gold throne that has undergone such extensive renovations that it is now basically made of wood? And why not have a reason for learning French, like the need to establish contact with a colony of French speakers as part as your attempts to woo one of them?
When I write small ads, I like to make them exciting, and fun to read, so that people remember them. Too many small ads are boring, so why not make fun ones?
Read my fun small ads here.
2019-01-21 - 09:12:00
A recent NewsThump article claimed that CD sales had fallen due to a lack of people's space in their garages. This is quite true, as physical space is quite expensive, thus people are finding alternative ways of storing their music.
Much cheaper than mansions are hard disc drives. They're not very expensive at all. In fact, I have 2 to sell. You can use these to store your music, and being considerably smaller (at 2 and a half inches wide) than a garage, they're much less costly in terms of rent. Also you can carry your entire music collection to the true north strong and free without having to fill in a really long form.
They're also great for storing films, TV series, photos, documents, databases, python scripts, computer games and all sorts of other cool stuff that goes on computers.
They're fairly easy to install, you clone your hard drive onto the new one with some cloning software, then install your new one into your computer, which there are lots of easy tutorials on YouTube showing you how to do, and I can even lend you a small screwdriver and some really cool prying tools (which are not to be confused with the canoe stroke) that will also be useful.
They're formatted, completely cleaned and ready to go.
I have a 500 GB hard drive I'd like £10 for and a 1 TB hard drive I'd like £20 for, but I'll take offers.
If you would like either, or even both of these, please email me and I will be most pleased to sell them to you.
2019-01-17 - 17:02:00
Super Minnie flies through the air because Minnie is a cat who loves being a super cat.
Serap also likes super Serap, but he doesn't call it that, he calls it Wii.
Wii is also a really cool games console which I have to sell. It's my parents' one, but it is little used, they're just downsizing prior to sending a really romantic love story to some government person in Halifax. It's the really cool one where you have controllers and can throw bowling balls and punch things safely. If you're really bad at bowling you can even throw the bowling ball backwards!
It’s the complete Wii and accessories. It has 2 controllers, 2 nunchucks and a steering wheel.
There are also these games discs:
Wii Sports Wii Play Mario Party 8 Super Paper Mario Mariokart LEGO Indian Jones – The Original Adventures
I believe it also still has the Miis on it, the little characters that exist on Wiis that represent your youness. I think you can remove them.
They're looking for about £60 for the lot, but will accept offers. As the Mii for me dates back from when I had my awesome pigtails, you'll get to see a depiction of me with pigtails. Yeah! Pigtail-tastic! That in itself is worth buying it for!
If you are interested, please email me and I will be pleased to sell it to you.
2018-11-28 - 10:18:00
While I was in Armenia, a delightful boy called Serap decided not only that saying "Marmite" was great (even though adult Armenians found the mere idea of the concept hideous), but also saying "Wii" as a signal for me to lift him skywards like a strange foreign human roller coaster was also great.
My parents have a Nintendo Wii they'd like to sell, but unlike me it is not a human roller coaster. It comes with 4 controllers, 2 nunchuks (of the nice sort), a steering wheel, and a few games.
I've got no idea how much they want for it, but if anyone would like a Nintendo Wii, please email me and I will put you in touch with them to arrange such stuff.
2018-11-21 - 14:24:00
Chips are really delicious, but you know what is more delicious than chips? If you get some cheese curds, those squeaky morsels of fresh squeaky cheese and put those on the chips and cover the whole lot with a rich, oniony chicken gravy, and then from far and wide you can celebrate the deliciousness of poutine, an invention that is so good that it beat the electron microscope and the electric oven in a CBC poll of the greatest Canadian inventions.
Canonically one should make chips with a deep fat fryer, So you can have this deep fat fryer if you like. It works excellently, and as well as making chips you can also use it to make falafel, doughnuts, deep fried mars bars, deep fried boost bars, ishli kufta and anything else which may or may not have been attempted in this deep fat fryer.
If you want this you may want to give it a fairly major scrub because oil does something weird, but it does work as a deep fat fryer and is fairly easy to dismantle.
If you want this deep fat fryer please email me and I will be pleased to give it to you.
2018-11-05 - 09:26:00
One of the more sophisticated drinks is brandy, and brandy is such a delectable beverage that it needs an exquisite glass to fully appreciate the brandy experience.
This delightful glass will hold your brandy as you sit by the fire drinking brandy, or at Christmas as you drink brandy, or basically while you drink brandy during the year. Such is the sophistication of the brandy and the glass in which it would be held.
The glass is perfectly usable, and is a very nice an sensible size. I'm only selling because it was part of a pair one of which I broke, and I bought a pair of Ararat tulip glasses when I visited the distillery.
If you would like this excellent glass, please email me () and I will be pleased to help you improve your experience of drinking brandy.
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